I’m Your Cat Who Watches You Bone, And I Have Notes

I have seen you copulate 37 times in the past calendar year, yet you have given birth to zero kittens.

Photo by Adam Kuylenstierna on Unsplash

Dear Mother,

It’s me, your favorite son: The Cat.

As you know, your bedroom door does not latch properly, and thus, of late, I have been supervising your…